the truth about everything. (the wedding, jake, alissa, erika, mtv, mental health, drugs, etc)

Tana Mongeau
Views 5 141 278
97% 50 061 1 352

i filmed this right after my (two day) break from socials. obviously things are a little better and different since then, but i felt like i needed to say all of this in order to grow. love you. thank u for listening. we got this.


Published on


Dec 29, 2019




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Colby and Brennen
Colby and Brennen 5 months ago
2019 was the grind and hustle for your career so 2020 is for healing and nurturing your success
Venecia Goncalves
The only reason Jake acts like that is because he never really had a dad he had a coach and trainer but Jake is starting to change and if his dad was a dad I think Jake would act different and Erika helped him out I never liked there relationship but out of all his Ex’s Erika was the best she helped him out to get emotional and show emotion I feel like Jake and Erika will get back together in the future or become best friends again like they were before they started dating
HEX GIRL 17 days ago
Money causes nothing but problems hahaha
BECKY Jimenez
BECKY Jimenez 17 days ago
Hey! So neh 2020 beating our asses hahahaha
ilana garza
ilana garza Month ago
this did NOT age well
Baddreamz ツ
Baddreamz ツ 2 months ago
we that didnt work
Summer Kennedy
Summer Kennedy 4 hours ago
Tana u deal with too much u should take some time for urself like it would probably make u feel so much better
Cameryn Bailey
Cameryn Bailey 2 days ago
Omg I feel you 😩❤️I am still looking for love somewhere else I am losing myself
Molly Milleson
Molly Milleson 2 days ago
Tana i hope yk we always gunna b here no matter and we do love you from the bottom of our heart
Venecia Goncalves
The only reason Jake acts like that is because he never really had a dad he had a coach and trainer but Jake is starting to change and if his dad was a dad I think Jake would act different and Erika helped him out I never liked there relationship but out of all his Ex’s Erika was the best she helped him out to get emotional and show emotion I feel like Jake and Erika will get back together in the future or become best friends again like they were before they started dating
Joleah Hernandez
Joleah Hernandez 3 days ago
I can't believe I'm 15 and I relate, feel, connect idk to this ever since I was 11 this hurts that I feel the exact same and it hurts
Robyn 4 days ago
wow this video hit me in a lot of different spots but I know I have nothing compared to this 🥺
Prisha Gellaboina
I can't believe he didn't stay after her father had a stroke, just to go on a "honeymoon" without her. Was anything real for him?
Prisha Gellaboina
This is literally so similar to what Alissa Violet went through but just more official like the marriage and Tana agreed to some of the stuff, but the emotional manipulation and a new girl every night right under her nose are spot on the same
Kyra Bee
Kyra Bee 4 days ago
blair waldorf and price louis type beat
OofyPlayz 7 days ago
Jake bad
Emily Reilly
Emily Reilly 7 days ago
I think watching your videos is making it easier for a lot of people to process their troubling childhoods themselves. Because empathizing with another person who has gone through abuse like that makes it easier to be kinder to yourself for the same reasons. You have to know that everything you do for these boys is actually what you’re doing for your young audience that cares about you. You don’t deserve to be in pain, but these comments. I’ve never seen anything like it on yt. So many people care so deeply about you and you being so honest about all of this is so healing for all these young people who are hurting too. You’re doing so much good through the pain you’re working through. You’re helping so many people
Derrius Harney
Derrius Harney 8 days ago
To me it doesn't seem like Tana is worshiping Jake,I think she is feeling this way simply because it's over,bot because he abused her,or anything people are claiming, I mean none of us knows what's going on in their lives for real,we just watch there videos, and I know what u think, Jake's bad,because he's s Paul ,no reason else,she hurt because there no longer together, it didn't look like he was happy on the honeymoon, he's a guy ,who dealt with the breakup differently, I hope after a few years they could try again off camera, for themselves
Derrius Harney
Derrius Harney 8 days ago
Not,a one person tried to see this from Jake's point of view, do u really believe that he never truly loved Tana,I bet none of you even watched Jake's or Logan's videos, this divorce was probably the worst thing that happened to both of them
Ari 9 days ago
Banana L Slimes
Banana L Slimes 11 days ago
That’s so sad :( so sorry tana.
Lacey Zhao
Lacey Zhao 11 days ago
I don’t like this sad Tana. Where is the fun girl?
Esme L
Esme L 12 days ago
tana it breaks my heart that u feel the need to keep saying it was your fault. as someone who also has a lot of trauma i know that blaming yourself is common but i hope you know you are also allowed to be angry at him, at the people who hurt you, too. i've been watching u since 2016 and i'm about the same age as u, so i feel like we've grown up together. i'm here with you on this path to healing. we're still young, we've got time. i love you.
Kai 13 days ago
this video is so painful to watch because of how much she keeps blaming herself and idolizing jake paul you can't truly heal unless you stop blaming yourself for other people's mistakes. I understand that she made the decision to go along with jake but he is at fault more than her for taking advantage of her past trauma
Peachy Tea
Peachy Tea 14 days ago
I felt this.......
HarlieHarlot 15 days ago
You keep saying it is not your fault. You are right you chose to be with these people but in relationships it is a partnership. If this person is not being an active partner to love you , support you, care about you then my guess is that they dont have strong feelings to give more than what they are willing to offer. So those people are at fault for wasting anyone's time.
Rachel McInnis
Rachel McInnis 15 days ago
1:50 big disassociation mood
Annie Gonzalez
Annie Gonzalez 17 days ago
Can relate soooo much !
Leilani Haywood
Leilani Haywood 17 days ago
Me. More. BJ. Me. Tana. Mogeau. Like. Me. More More
Spiritual Divine
Spiritual Divine 18 days ago
I know this is an older video & I am sorry that I made a post on your newer video about it seeming like maybe you were using drugs. Honestly people may joke about counseling but after 14 years of counseling I can truly say it helps you tremendously. We all had pretty traumatic childhoods but we can stop that history from repeating. As you grow older you'll become wiser....when you have your own family you'll 100% want to change for your child. I had a child when I was 19 and it truly changed my life for the better. I still had my bad moments in my 20s but I could always go back to wanting to be a good Mom. Although your parents may not be perfect, I'm sure they love you. Forgiveness helps your mental health more than anything. I'll pray for you sweetie. Hang in there. I promise it will get better
YOUNGxGOATx Turtle 18 days ago
Based on the type of person Jake is, I wouldn’t say that you’d be okay if he kill your family.
YOUNGxGOATx Turtle 18 days ago
“2020 is the year” *Corona comes* *Murder Hornets come*
Mila Oyama
Mila Oyama 19 days ago
i love her. she is my icon, like seriously
K MM 20 days ago
I totally relate to the parents and family shit fr fr.
Tracie Duke
Tracie Duke 20 days ago
Seems like Jake Paul will always be the same person... Alissa went through this same exact thing. Very sad :(
Sophie Clarke
Sophie Clarke 21 day ago
I relate so much to her wanting to be the "cool girlfriend". I did that for so long, denying my feelings through self-destruct. I almost wanted to feel the pain of watching somebody I loved, love somebody else. It sounds crazy, idk. Growth is great. Open-relationships should be for people who are completely secure, completely stable, through love and not wanting to seem "chill" ... Seeming chill isn't worth killing yourself over
Sophie Clarke
Sophie Clarke 21 day ago
When I used to watch Tana all those years ago, she'd annoy me. All the mistakes would annoy me. I'd just be like "stop making bad decisions!!" but still I stuck around because I sensed so much inner-pain (similar to the pain inside myself) and I knew there'd be growth and transformation on the horizon. We all have pain and trauma. We've all been self-destructive. Tana is so young. Our early twenties are about messing up, getting hurt, learning and growing. I respect her so much for really opening up and if Tana Mongeau can be depressed, with all her money and fame and opportunities, it gave me some kind of selfish validation: it's OKAY for you to be depressed, too. Great things are ahead - I feel it. I really love Tana.
Chris Valente
Chris Valente 21 day ago
Where tf did everyone see this going
Payton Ward
Payton Ward 21 day ago
Wow I took a break from RUvid a lil while after the wedding and I just seen this your so freaking strong just seeing upon up period but to this many people its incredibly strong and then on top of everything else u can get thru it it going to be ok
Keegan Deas
Keegan Deas 22 days ago
Do you want to date me tana mongeau
samantha ahern
samantha ahern 23 days ago
I used to watch ur old shit like I’m an og.I’d watch you once in a while when u had a popular vid but I was too busy to keep up with every RUvidd I support. This honestly vid drawled me right back in. Keep being the fun one! U need to have fun and love yourself.
samantha ahern
samantha ahern 23 days ago
I can stop commenting. I’m fucking quaking with empathy
samantha ahern
samantha ahern 23 days ago
YOU GOT TO KNOW MALCOM?! Mac Miller is my type of vibe. I’ll stay with u forever Tana lmao ur my fave bitch ngl
samantha ahern
samantha ahern 23 days ago
Babe omg I’m only at 5:30 and you just made me an even bigger stan. Please share your thought and feelings I love the way you have with words. I related to so much of it. The raw honestly u admitted you had with yourself almost made me wanna cry. Gives me true awareness your feelings and I feel so similar it’s crazy. Ps my favorite song is Hefner when I’m feeling like I wanna east the pain. Muuusic. I always forget about it. Hope that helps. For anyone reading the comments lol
TabathaaCP 24 days ago
I really thought she was never truly in love with Jake, but I was so wrong... crazy
Wolfye 24 days ago
"Jake could kill my whole family and I will always love him and have a bond with him" What.....????
Keagan Harris
Keagan Harris 3 days ago
Yeah wtf
Alexa Favale-Silva
Alexa Favale-Silva 24 days ago
This really made me very sad. I hope life becomes different for you ❤️ I Hope life becomes FOR YOU.
Ricky Armijo
Ricky Armijo 24 days ago
Wish I could hug your right now tana😭 Don’t be so hard on yourself, your suchhhhhh an amazing person regardless of anything! Never let your mistakes define you. I Truly support you so much and hate seeing you at this state. Keep your head up and rise from this!!! Love you Tana🥺😘💚🍀
Jig and Wag
Jig and Wag 25 days ago
oh shush, no one cares, your just looking for attention and sympathy
Jessica Martin
Jessica Martin 26 days ago
how can a person be so self absorbed
Stephanie R
Stephanie R 26 days ago
I love when you are real n not faking anything ❤️✝️😘
Melanie Mcbride
Melanie Mcbride 26 days ago
Rachel Elizabeth
Rachel Elizabeth 27 days ago
I really hope you read this but you remind me so so so so much of my sister if she had come back from her addictions and thrived and watching your videos makes me feel like I have that sister that I lost to drugs. Stay strong Tana!
Chloe Warfield
Chloe Warfield 28 days ago
Seeing Tana blame herself for Jake being a heartless cheating prick fully breaks my heart
Myra 28 days ago
just wanna give this girl a hug.
Nayra Hession
Nayra Hession 28 days ago
you saying “i’m having such PTSD flashbacks from me crying on the floor” is extremely offensive. that is not what a PTSD flashback is, in anyway, at all. you do not have PTSD from crying over your boyfriend.
Keirsten Camp
Keirsten Camp 29 days ago
Is it bad that Tana is my goal?
LiveLocalPNW 29 days ago
Somedays i just want to fart
Tasha Khimani
Tasha Khimani Month ago
I know this migjt be a little irrelevant to What people are saying but I just noticed that she's not wearing her ring I feel soo bad 😢😮😶
Sarah C
Sarah C Month ago
Wow I guess Jake is rly good at tricking ppl to love him while treating them like absolute sht It’s rly a talent
Megan Bailey
Megan Bailey Month ago
God loves you and will help you if you let Him
Jordyn Bacon
Jordyn Bacon Month ago
i love you, tana. you’re so strong and you’re such a beautiful person. thank you so much for sharing. < 3
Xxxninjaxxx Month ago
lol funny sex number
Audra Dedrick
Audra Dedrick Month ago
Hes a narcissist. Tana, you were trauma bonded to him. Someone treat this girl right. Tana, you deserve so much love. We love you.
this feels like a chat I'd have with my friends when life is a bit crap
Christi Post
Christi Post Month ago
Jake Paul is a Narcissist who will always be the abused victim. Tana stop buying into that toxic schtick. He has the self awareness of a cockroach.
Kendra Dawson
Kendra Dawson Month ago
You deserve the world Tana 💕
bwang4005 Month ago
I stumbled onto tana's channel and this is the very first video I'm watching. I realize I have SOME SERIOUS CATCHING UP TO DO. BUT, you seem like a truly lovely soul who, unfortunately has been put through literal hell. But those of us who are forged by fire come through the flames invincible and stronger than anyone can imagine. I'm glad this was the first video I'm watching. Seeing someone being so humble and honest about their wrongs is far and few in today's world. But babe, it seems to me you give love to everyone but yourself. My personal advice for you (as I've been thru some shit from childhood up to present day) STAY SINGLE, figure yourself out. FIND YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF. Become spiritual, find your higher power, meditate and work with your spirit guide. You are so much stronger and more brave than you give yourself credit for. I look forward to watching more of your videos. You speak such truth and I envy that. Just remember that you are BEAUTIFUL, and you are SO LOVED.
Yara AABI Month ago
Never blame ur self abt anything. Tana u r one of the most strongest people I’ve ever seen. U inspire me SO MUCH. Really. We all luv u SO MUCH. I’m sure we all hope u get better asap. I luv u so much
Cordelia Thomas
Cordelia Thomas Month ago
This is exactly how I feel on a day to day, feeling like I'm not a real person and I don't understand why, so I turn to drugs and drink to cope. And then I hate myself for it. But I don't even realise, I make these excuses for myself but in situations when I stressed out I react in ways that I can't even understand, I don't understand why I act that way but my emotion takes over and I have no control... I see myself in you, I rlly hope u see this at some point some how, because this isn't your fault, this isn't who you are. I think my problems are a personality disorder and I don't like that, I've only just come to terms with that. I'm obsessed with becoming a better person. I just want to be a better person. I think everyone else around me knows how to act and I don't so I have to deal with my depressing thoughts... I don't know how I even acknowledged this I found this out about myself by accident though the research I do... I'm saying this I'm hoping that you might recognise some of these in yourself, because I acted the way u do and I felt like the only one in the world, so I subconsciously seeked approval from others then hated myself for it. It's so important to understand that this isn't you, you're not doing this stuff because you think that way, but because you respond to situations in a way you can't control. This behaviour can be triggered by trauma, often abuse (childhood abuse for me, it was sexual so I constantly picture naked ppl, see my mother naked, and then I think, hey, why am I thinking that, do I like her? Do I feel that way about her? Are these intrusive thoughts? How do I know I have intrusive thoughts? I didn't understand this about myself until I read someone else's experience and I realised just how misunderstood personality disorders are. They don't make you a bad person, they cause you to do stuff you literally don't know how to control. And it's not your fault. I really hope I'm right in saying this, I think my personality disorder manifests itself in me judging others too harshly, and I can't control it, but it's because I care too much and I feel the need for people to know that, and I come across as a terrible person. I don't know how I come off, I don't have an identity. That's my thoughts on it...
Cordelia Thomas
Cordelia Thomas Month ago
I needed to see this video because it makes me feel sane...
Cordelia Thomas
Cordelia Thomas Month ago
I care about you tho
corina laney
corina laney Month ago
6:00 to 6:40 hits me so hard because im going through the same stuff im lucky to have my husband keep me in control or id spiraled. We love you tana and we understand what your going through and well get through it all together. 💙
Jeramiah Black
Jeramiah Black Month ago
Everyone stop going off on Jake cause he is such a nice person and ye it’s sad that tana feels the way she does but u guys need to stop going off on him
Cailin Klingman
Cailin Klingman Month ago
Love the video, but all I keep focusing on is that damn pillow😩 making my ocd go absolute nuts🤣
yian _17
yian _17 Month ago
Hmmm harley quinn and joker?
Lola Hunter
Lola Hunter Month ago
You go be you and have fun because You deserve it!😍
Christy & Jalina
i wanna slap all of those people.
Ariel’s Life
Ariel’s Life Month ago
Tbh I think Jake and you have changed very much , Jake youse to be just a blogger and I use to live him but now idek bc Jake he smokes and etc but he ain’t normal at all it’s kinda sad to watch🥺
Night Fury
Night Fury Month ago
Girl Justin Bieber make album about wife Hailey. That is respect. Stand for yourself you deserve love believe in that.
Saniya Rahman
Saniya Rahman Month ago
Do u like erika? Have u met her?
KARA OBIEN Month ago
Damn I’m sorry I really wanna know what this is about but I don’t have the time to watch the whole thing. This may be too much to ask but can someone sum it up for me? :(
Ariya Cardon
Ariya Cardon Month ago
make a podcast!!!
Mariah Williams
Mariah Williams Month ago
In all due respect, do you think you could have borderline personality disorder? Please forgive yourself, and make a list of things you have learned. That's what I do after a breakout or fallout.
James Joint
James Joint Month ago
:( remember to forgive yourself
AWEtistic Month ago
Please remember: Depression has nothing to do with a "fun" life. It has nothing to do with being ungrateful. It has nothing to do with success, money and career. It is a disease and needs treatment. And, most important: It is not your fault.
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