The Crimes of Grindelwald - Ruining a Franchise

The Cosmonaut Variety Hour
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Mar 20, 2019

jk rowlingHarry PotterFantastic Beastsreviewsatire




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Comments 13 863
Convilious Hour ago
YOuRe BlAcK ? /`?
H.L 3 hours ago
Anthony Goldstein is in the books
Pifci 4 hours ago
I’m sorry, but the "fall of JK Rowling" is so inaccurate it’s embarrassing. Let me just list all the mistakes made in that short segment. For all the TL:DR folks out there: It’s a load of nonsense. 4:05 it’s pronounced "rolling", not "raawling". Off to a good start... 4:30 I couldn’t find any evidence that Rowling is responsible for the cast of The Cursed Child. 4:34 a) This is just silly. That description obviously describes fear/shock in Hermione’s face. If her face was described as "red" after something embarrassing happened , would that mean she was a Native American? b) The book also says her hair is bushy and that she has big front teeth (at least until The Goblet of Fire). In the movies... not so much (she only has somewhat bushy hair in the first two films at least). Also, harry is described as having Green eyes about a dozen times per book, yet his eyes are blue/grey in the movies. And adult Lily’s eyes are blue/grey, but when she interacts with Snape as a child, her eyes are clearly brown, so Snape’s "you have your mother’s eyes" makes no sense. And I could continue. Why do so many people flip out when a character’s race or sexuality is changed, even if it’s irrelevant to the plot, but only acknowledge other (sometimes plot hole inducing) changes as simple trivia? 4:53 That’s a headline, dude. It’s supposed to grab your attention. The actual quote is as follows: "Their relationship was incredibly intense. It was passionate, and it was a love relationship, but as happens in any relationship, gay or straight or whatever label we want to put on it, one never knows really what the other person is feeling. You can’t know, you can believe you know.(...) So I’m less interested in the sexual side - though I believe there is a sexual dimension to this relationship - than I am in the sense of the emotions they felt for each other, which ultimately is the most fascinating thing about all human relationship," So... nothing particularly shocking or weird, unless you have the mentality of a 10 year old. 4:56 I assume that by "back a few years ago", you actually meant "over a decade ago". Most sources I found are from October 2007. Some people who were born at the time will enter high school next year. Why do so many people think that this is a recent thing? 5:02 Because the books were read by children and the outrage would have been enormous. So instead she just dropped clues in the books and confirmed it elsewhere. And the reception was not that bad and even a lot of purists accepted it as canon, because it actually makes sense in the context of the story. 5:10 This is just false, as many people have already pointed out. Anthony Goldstein does appear in the books. In fact, he was a member of Dumbledore’s Army for god’s sake. Next time you’re making a video, please, do some research. Also, a Jew has a Jewish name? Unbelievable, isn’t it? How dare she?! 5:35 All white, right? Dean Thomas is described as "a Black boy even taller than Ron" in The Sorcerer’s Stone (yeah, I wrote "Sorcerer’s" since it’s only in the American edition, the UK one doesn’t contain his description because the editor thought the chapter was too long) Angelina Johnson is "a tall black girl who played Chaser..." Blaise Zabini: "a tall black boy with high cheekbones" Lee Jordan (according to a lot of sources, though I couldn’t find a direct quote, so take this with a pinch of salt) And of course Cho Chang and the Patil twins (though this is mostly only deduceb from their names) Kingsley Shacklebolt: "a bald black wizard" (a non-student example) As for all straight... the books don’t talk too much about sexuality, so how can you tell if they’re straight? I mean, seriously... 5:47 How ironic, considering that pretty much everything said in the last two minutes was false. I just don’t get this JK Rowling hate train. Wasn’t the whole fighting Voldemort thing /blood status an analogy to the irrational animosity towards other people who are different than us in some way in the Muggle world? And here we are, arguing about people’s race, religion, and sexual orientation and whatnot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming anyone in particular. I just think it’s a shame.
alzeriel 5 hours ago
why the fuck didnt they tell the grindlewald stroy through the back stories of all the authors of the wizard text books. Oppertunity lost.
LJ Gaming
LJ Gaming 5 hours ago
Jacob just stares
Raven 5 hours ago
The whole idea that a story MUST have a billion non straight characters is baffling. A story can be all white and straight, or it can be all non white. Or it can be all gay. There shouldn't be some requirement, or check list, that's just reducing people and characters to facets of their identity, instead of them being people or characters. Identity politics is such a pain.
RJF 06
RJF 06 6 hours ago
Anyone else actually like the movie?
Tame Naz
Tame Naz 7 hours ago
I fell asleep during the movie while watching it with my girlfriend at that time lol
Toxic1Strike 8 hours ago
Anthony Goldstein is in the books. They couldn’t apparate out of the prison because it isn’t possible in there, there wasn’t a port key in the prison, and there wasn’t a fireplace so no flew powder either.
George Alexandru
George Alexandru 9 hours ago
Jk its mad eyed moody:)) she is MOODY for making these 2 awful movies.
Rainbow Unicorn
Rainbow Unicorn 12 hours ago
Rick Riordan will always be my favourite author where’s my adaptation?
Arsene Lupin
Arsene Lupin 17 hours ago
What really bugs me about JKR is that if she genuinely cared about making the Harry Potter stories more diverse... it'd be really easy for her to just revise the text itself and republish it as a new edition. It'd probably make her a ton of money, too.
Sean Zwick
Sean Zwick 20 hours ago
Bruh my man references the movies and not the books
Ryan 20 hours ago
You should be more respectful i think
RemixedVoice 21 hour ago
It's funny how the edgelords hate Rowling because she introduces diversity, and then how the rest of us hate Rowling because she's cheaply retconning her straight white characters to pretend that she's progressive. The irony is hilarious.
Phat Yoshi
Phat Yoshi Day ago
No one: JK Rowling: Dobby can deepthroat a nimbus
Noah got lego
Stop the killing of muggle Jews by killing all muggles. What ?
Selena -
Selena - Day ago
i just don't get why she just doesn't say "Yeah, I'm white and diversity wasn't a thing when i wrote the books, so this is a straight white book. I've have now learned and have a more diverse view of life and I will make sure that my next works are full of diversity" Like common, It's not that hard
Mamodokod Day ago
"Grindelwald aka a super evil wizard Nazi" I see what you did there, that's called foreshadowing children.
BVoshol Day ago
Wow... this is more confusing than my really, really bad D&D campaign!
Ms Tiny
Ms Tiny Day ago
JK really messed up!! J. Depp is an absolute joke - Colin Farrell should have been left in the movie.
Shannon Smith
Wait then how did Ezra use his explode magic in the first movie if it was some random kid?
Benmacp05 Day ago
i actually forgot the Ezra Miller was in the first one
Arbyte Day ago
Kudos for the Bloodborne soundtrack
rosanna Day ago
( actually Anthony Goldstein is in the books; he was part of the D.A. )
Quafflez Day ago
Blaise was agreat black character, easily missed if you give no f's but real fans know there was already black representation
Alliyah Verenitani
Is that,,, the cup head soundtrack in the background
Alliyah Verenitani
Is that,,, the cup head soundtrack in the background
1293ST Day ago
Long ago a happy black family in France in the late 1800s yeah nah black especially not in the upper class
stalker 5151
stalker 5151 Day ago
“Warner Brothers is gonna cuck me..” That is an incredible open
Magic Medic
Magic Medic Day ago
What is it with British writers and ludicrous "long lost brother/freinds/relatives/whatever" lately? Are they are taking lessons from Steven fucking Moffat of all people, the guy who managed to already run 3 beloved pieces of British culture into the ground?
laura clifford
laura clifford 2 days ago
What annoys me the most about Fantastic Beasts is that there will be five movies. FIVE!! That's like...way too much for a prequel this irrelevant. The first movie is pretty good. The second one...wasn't good, but I didn't hate it either. I actually like the Johnny Depp aka Grindelwald twist so far, but we'll have to see where they take it in the future movies. Also, I never saw anyone else talk about this, but I personally don't feel the magical Harry Potter mood in Fantastic Beasts and even though it's set almost 70 years before the HP story begins, it feels more...modern. Not as cozy. Since HP has been a very big part of my life since childhood I was expecting some goosebumps but I was disappointed.
Brian Lee
Brian Lee 2 days ago
Evan 2 days ago
coming out of the first fantastic beasts movie, I was like “wow, that movie was great! I loved how different it felt, it was a cute supplement to the original films, and I appreciate how well it expanded the universe in just one simple, self-contained plot line!” when my friends told me it was the first movie in a series, I made the logical assumption that the other movies would be like origin stories for the OTHER iconic textbooks, because that would a) be cool and b) make sense considering that the fIRST FANTASTIC BEASTS MOVIE E N D S THE ARCS FOR ALL OF THE CHARACTERS IN THE FILM
Brenna.taco 2 days ago
I love Eddie Redmayne but...
Jorge martinez
Jorge martinez 2 days ago
Man I love this video
Tato 2 days ago
hagrid is the most lovable character in all of the harry potter universe change my mind
FortKnight 2 days ago
Crimes of Grinalwald is Jason Todd and Rowling is Batman.
Riri Pari
Riri Pari 2 days ago
I can see why Rowling wanted to be in charge of everything. Most times movie adaptions don't do the books justice, but it seems like she's forgetting a lot of the information that she herself made canon and switching it up making all the Harry Potter fans upset. Seems like she should've gotten more people to help her with the movie (namely people who know the Harry Potter universe) so that she didn't end up making mistakes that led to do many different people making videos about why her latest movies suck. Seriously, this is the 3rd video I've seen talking about how much the movie sucks and there's more that I haven't even watched.
Riri Pari
Riri Pari 2 days ago
Sounds like J.K. Rowling should've just wrote the Crimes of Grindelwald and then left the adoption part to some actual professionals. I know some people don't do the book justice like with the Shining which Stephen King was actually upset over because they didn't flesh the story out right, but sometimes they can get it right.
Bms010 0
Bms010 0 2 days ago
Someone ban this woman from Twitter.
ghoulunathics 2 days ago
personally i don't even count this series as a part of the HP world. the movies were just both incredibly badly written and directed - half of the characters weren't even introduced by name and the whole plot felt so implausible and scattered it was just like everything was happening just so they could make a movie out of it, while the main character's journey through the movie felt like the most lame psychedelic trip where everything was happening for him directly just to raise the most shallow kind run or fight type of emotions and excitement. meanwhile every single character felt like they had overly exaggerated their only personality trait to hide the fact that in reality they were all painfully single layered and had only that one personality trait that made them recognizable from each other. It's nothing but bad fan art, just like the hobbit movies. it seems that Rowling pumped out every single drop of creativity and imagination into the original HP series and now all that's left is a low self esteem and scandalous SJW who just loves to shock people with the power she has over the franchise - and who has gone totally blind on her own work because of the success of the original franchise she wrote.
F U B A R methink
JK is a c**t, the 1 Irish kid in it and what is he good at? yea blowing stuff up... bitch, she might as well of made him a leprechaun picking potatoes.
Red9 2 days ago
I put this on while on a flight and fell asleep in 20 minutes
Chickin Who Makes Video’s
There was a second movie? I literally had no idea lol
solrave123 3 days ago
what is the song at the very beginning?
DJ 3 days ago
DJ 3 days ago
I remember watching this movie with some friends, and I was trying to be polite because my friend bought the tickets. But when the movie ended and we stood up in the theatre I said. “Wow that was bad”
Iciee 3 days ago
The accio charm worked on that animal because he had gold around him or inside him...
Gacha And FUN :3
Gacha And FUN :3 3 days ago
Actually there is a character named Anthony goldstein. He’s in the fifth book on page 313 you’re welcome :)
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